"Okay, so, you have 12 cherries in the bag.....that will be .59 cents.
 Ummm...ma'am, you only have .12 cents on this card?
Okay....I'll put 7 cherries back <calling grocery to pick up 7 cherries>.......that comes to .17 cents.
Take out one more huh....okay. <grocery..I have another cherry> So that will be .11 cents.
Swipe your card and press okay.  Oh I'm sorry, you pressed cancel...I'll just swipe it up here. The machine says the card is not valid. I'm sorry ma'am...okay, I'll call a supervisor.
Okay, I won't. How would you like to pay.
You only have 8 cents........
You know what ma'am...enjoy the cherries, they're on me today.
Have a nice day."

10 min later I saw her coming out of the bathroom.....I'm sure there was cherry juice dripping from her chin,

Ok...so the whole "got my cell phone medically attached to my hand and ear. So, I HAVE to be on it no matter how rude it is" thing is starting to get on my nerves. Unless the doctor is calling with the results of your pregnancy test, that call could wait the 2 minutes it will take me to check you thru. I need to ask you a question.....I need you to answer me....or at least LOOK at me and nod.
Here is an example of what you could say to the girlfriend your dissing your husband to...."could I call you back, I'm standing in front of this nice lady who is cheerfully helping me with my purchase and I would be completely rude if I didn't at least acknowlege that she is bagging the 800 bottles of water I need for my pilates class. Ta ta....talk to you while I'm at the other superstore checklane waiting for................

Some gentlemen from Germany came through my checklane. They were so fun to help. The one paying was having trouble getting his card to work and finally one of the other men paid. The first fellow looked at me, shrugged, said "that is one way to get him to pay", then high fived me.
Made me laugh...wore a smile the rest of the evening.